I have to keep reminding myself of that fact.
I feel as if I've lived for a thousand years.
18 is nothing.
It is barely a blemish on the face of time.
I don't want to be this sick, sad little girl anymore.
I want to be the strong, kick-ass punk in a floral dress that I imagine myself as.
I wrote months ago
"I want to be seen as skeletal in a floral dress"
Now that I can see bones that I never knew that I had, now that my clothes hang in bags above my ever wasting frame, I just want to take that statement back.
I want to be able to drink juice with you someday and not feel like a failure.
I just want my life, please.
I want you to get better too- and I really hope that you will. Do you want to do this on your own or are you ready to ask for help?
ReplyDeleteAt the end of the day I know that it's completely up to me. I'm in hospital so I might as well use what's availble here.
ReplyDeleteThankyou for your support.
Six Feet Under
ReplyDeletehttp://www.imdb.com/title/tt0248654/
I urge you to watch it if you haven't already. It's brilliant, even if it might seem slow at times.